I heard Magicyclops do an interview with Milkman Dan on Boulder's Radio 1190...a phone interview supposedly from Davenport, Iowa, just as Magic was about to leave for Denver. All I heard was Milkman Dan's incredulous laughter at Magic's deadpan, English accent-infused delivery. It was fabulous. It was pure magic. I mean, who was this guy?

Almost a year later, I caught up the Man, the Myth, the Magicyclops and had the great pleasure of interviewing him at the Punk Rock Bowling Awards show at the Bluebird Theater.

Magicyclops soft-rocking out at the Bluebird.


How long have you been doing your act?
Well, I've been the Magicylops my entire life and I've been doing this for twenty+ years.

Tell me and my readers a little bit about your show.
Um..well...I don't...I don't know really much about my show because I am usually heavily sedated.

Yeah, with what?
With manager takes pills sometimes...

Hamms beer..
Yeah, Hamms, "The Beer Refreshing"

Why Hamms?
Just because it's a superior beer and I only like the best.

I used to have some Hamms beer earrings.
Oh really? I would have stolen them from you.

What, are you a thief?
No, I would have sexed you up and you would have given them to me. "You're such a great lover, Magic, take them!"

Does that happen to you a lot?
Too often...

Everything you own was given to you by lovers?
Yes, like these shoes, which are falling apart...

Wow, that girl must have had big feet.
Yes, she did. You know what they say about big feet...

Why do you do what you do?
Boredom, really, there's not a lot to do in Davenport, so I just decided to become a mega superstar because I was sick of working remedial jobs.

Magicyclops - a "can-do" kind of guy. Here he takes out the trash at The Bluebird Theater.


What kind of remedial jobs did you do?
What haven't I done? I've been a mover...a shaker...just a lot of something.

Pizza delivery.
Done it.

Web Design.
Reading about it. I have people that do that and I don't want to put them out of work.

I have worked at a bookstore, yes.

Tell me about Davenport; did you grow up there?
It's a lovely city, yes, I grew up on a farm there. It's about the size of a small town. It's one of the quad cities and I have been deemed the "Quad City Madman" because I don't know...

Are you a madman?
Some say so...

You also got the "One Man Dancercize Troupe" award.
Yes, and that's very sad because I don't live here. The fact that I beat out some other poor chump in Denver...

I don't know if there's anybody else who does that.
Yeah, I don't know who won it last year, but I would really like to meet him (or her).

Yeah, you could do a duo.
Yeah, I would like to. I have some numbers...I am currently working with Paula Abdul...

Sweet, yeah, she's a great choreographer..
Yeah, she does some good work. I'm not a fan of her on American Idol.

I've never watched that before.
It's not very good.

Though you are not a big fan of Paula Abdul in American Idol, you are a fan of Mark Mothersbaugh, tell me about that
I'm not familiar with his's he?

Devo! (I pronounced it Dee-voe, accent over the e)
Oh Devo! (pronounced Dah-voe, accent over the o). Oh yes, Markie, yeah, he's the cute one, some might say.

I have seen mention of the Church of the Subgenius.
Yes, I am a member of the church. I'm not really religious, but..

Well, if you're not religious, then it's probably the best church to be associated with...
Yes, I would say so. I think it's a pretty fun church and I'm pretty much a "slacker"

Do you do anything with them, or you pretty much just ARE...
Well, I'll play you a song this evening called the "Subgenius Theme" There was talk of them using it in a video once...

The Church. I don't know how else to um...I don't know who they are really...Reverend Ivan Stang, he's really the core of the apple of the church.

You don't think they fell from grace after the July 5th, 199-whatever debacle?
Well, I think it was fitting because religion is really a sham anyway. You know, there are still people out there today that are grown adults that believe that there are people living on clouds above us with halos and that some bearded dude is going to come down and...I don't know what he's going to do, but...maybe just party, maybe we'll just have an all-night dance party, maybe they'll ask me to DJ, and if the price is right I think I might do it.

Tell me about your childhood in Davenport.
It's pretty standard. I grew up on a farm, kids picked on me, I became wildly popular and good-looking in high school. I played sports.

What's your favorite sport?
I'm going to have to go with bowling, actually, on that one.

Very fitting.
Oh yeah, that's right. The bowling awards show. I'm a really good bowler and I think if the music thing falls through, I'm going to pursue professional bowling.

What's your best bowling score?
I've actually bowled a 300. It was the luckiest day of my life. And the day that I lost my virginity, that was also very lucky.

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

Oh wow, how do you feel about that?
Well it was bound to happen sometime, you know, I just had to find a willing participant. And with fifty dollars...that's when I was on my way.

And it's been non-stop ever since?
You can only do so much, you know, there's only so much of me to go around. Some have called me a man-whore.

Why would they call you that?
I tend to go home with some and there...

Tell me about your look.
Well, this jumpsuit is by K-Mart, kneepads are by Champion Sportswear, shoes by Vision Streetwear, which are falling apart from dancing (so I wouldn't really recommend skateboarding in them if they fall apart dancing). The headband, by the WWF and the Hulk Hogan. Hairstyle by myself because I refuse to get my hair cut at a Great Clips. Glasses by lenscrafters.

What about your patches?
Well see, I thought it would be very smart of me to have endorsements.

Magicyclops sponsored by Celestial Seasonings??

Are they paid endorsements?
Not yet. I thought if I took the first leap into the pool, they would follow. We'll see how that goes.

What do you do if you tear something in your blue jumpsuit?
I don't have to wear blue. I wear other clothing, just like mortals. Like for instance, last night I wore brown pants and a nice shirt, it was kind of a collared, button-up job. It's a good look for me, actually.

What does the future hold for you?
I hope more money, really. There's a saying I came up with and it goes, "There's no such thing as too much money."

You came up with that?
I think I did. Well, I said it one day, so I assume I came up with it.

Is there a national or world tour ahead of you?
I will do some touring. I'm on tour right now. For some reason I'm bigger in Denver than Davenport.

Why Denver?
I don't know. I think they have poor taste. They kind of like whatever's cool.

And you are..
I'm not very cool, but they seem to like me anyway. I think it's the alcohol and the altitude.

It does affect the judgement.
Yeah, I've hooked up with some ugly girls here, so it definitely does something to impair it. I've woken up in the morning and been like, "what have I done?"

How often do you come to Denver?
Too often, actually. I'm never really in Davenport. You know, Davenport is really lovely in the spring. Is it spring? Let's say it's spring. Yeah, it's very pretty.

Would you say Davenport is your ideal place to live?
No! God, no. I hate it there. I own my own trailer so, I don't have much to worry about there.

Is it out in the wilderness, or is it in a park?
No, it's in a park. They call them trailer parks where I come from. I have what you would call a double-wide. So, I'm like a step up on the white trash level. I'm kind of like superior white trash. It's quite lovely really.

Where would you prefer to live, if not Davenport?
I think I would be really good roommates with CC Deville of Poison. He seems like a pretty down to earth dude. I actually went to see his band play in Iowa...Samantha Seven...they're really good, but now I think he's back again with Poison and going on tour with KISS.

What about the kind of music that you play?
I play soft rock because soft rock is ah...I just like's soft. You see this music right here? [Motions to the band playing upstairs] It's loud. It's for kids, you know? I'm a bit older now...

What are your musical inspirations?
Burt Bacharach I really enjoy. Neil Sedaker is really good. I really like the Ultra Lounge series that was put out, that's really good. Of course, your Devo. I like the 80s new wave. I'm a big fan of the 80s. I just love the 80s. Ambrosia has a hit. Firefall. .38 Special. Toto. I think it's fairly obvious that I like good music, because I only make good music.

How old are you?
I'm 36. Rounding 40 pretty soon. I know I look young...Oil of Olay...I bathe in the stuff, which is probably where all of my money goes.

What keeps you going?
Coffee. Coffee keeps me going. I really drink a lot of coffee.

Do you ever see yourself settling down and having kids and a family?
You know if a lady is that inebriated that I could fool her into such shenanigans, heck yeah, I would knock her up.

Any closing statements that you would like the public to know about you and what you do?
I'd just like them to visit And I started a campaign. It's a millionaire fund and I'm looking for 1 million people to give me one dollar. But if they do it online through Paypal, it's got to be a dollar, thirty-five.

And you have two dollars now?
Well, I had seven, but I had to spend five on gas, so I'm back down to two. But I'd like to be above $250,000 at least by the end of the year.

Go now! Make Magicyclops a millionaire!


And now, a few words from Magicyclops' manager, Sid Pink:

What can one say about Magicyclops?
As his manager, it's important to note that he is one of very few persons who may well be more delusional regarding his own genius and popularity than myself. This makes him an ideal client.

He is an emotional, megalomaniacal, tempramental artistic and comic genius who is chronically and tragically misunderstood, misrepresented, and underrated by nearly all the rabble, riff-raff, self-congratulatory hipsters, and unsuspecting club patrons who find themselves as his unwitting audience members.

Also, he is a tremendous asshole. Without me, he'd scarcely be recognized in the streets as anything more than a babbling derelict doing cross-legged pushups while drunk on Hamm's.


Check out Magic's website for upcoming shows. I hear he's planning a European tour...

May 2004